amelia beamer

Archive for 'The Loving Dead'

Loving one another at the end of the world

Posted 02 May 2010 | By | Categories: The Loving Dead | 1 Comment

OK, so I know that Pastor  Lewis was probably not talking about the apocalypse brought about by horny zombies. But still, it’s nice to know that other people are thinking about this deeply, uh, pressing issue:

Loving One Another at the End of the World

Archive for 'The Loving Dead'

Cover for The Loving Dead

Posted 30 April 2010 | By | Categories: The Loving Dead | 1 Comment

Art by David Palumbo. Design by Claudia Noble.

The Loving Dead cover

Archive for 'The Loving Dead'

Things that make me nervous

Posted 16 March 2010 | By | Categories: The Loving Dead | 1 Comment

So this is my first novel, and while I’ve been in the biz for years (before I worked for Locus I worked for Clarion East, back when it was at Michigan State University), I’m not entirely jaded enough that I don’t still have a lot of hopes and fears. Herewith some things that make me nervous*:

Inspiring someone to manufacture the zombie apocalypse by creating a nasty spore/bug/space ray/whatever.

Being blamed when the zombie apocalypse does finally happen.

Stalkers that send me pictures of bonsai kittens.

Getting rich and famous.

Not getting rich and famous.

Having my grandmother read the book. (I think she’s as afraid of this as I am.)

Having friends and family recognize bits of conversation and character that I’ve cannibalized. Yes, I stole your jokes. No, you can’t have them back.

Bad Amazon reviews. Everyone gets bad Amazon reviews.

Small mammals, including rabid squirrels, dead bats, and live skunks (this doesn’t have anything to do with the novel; I just seem to have to call Animal Control every year). Also, we kicked a squirrel out of the Locus office this afternoon. Fortunately it was more afraid of us than we were of it.

Not spending enough time on my next project because I’m looking after this one.

The construction of the new Bay Bridge which will rapidly make my novel out of date.

The possibility that there is no way zombies can be sexy.

Being too honest.

Not being honest enough.

*This post is a result of a conversation with my good friend Liz Gorinsky.

Archive for 'The Loving Dead'

Whip it good

Posted 13 March 2010 | By | Categories: The Loving Dead | No Comments

While, uh, researching whip techniques and injuries for my novel, I ran across this video by this  guy named Adam and his eight-foot kangaroo David Morgan bullwhip. It’s a good little tutorial.

Archive for 'The Loving Dead'

Chapters 1-4 of The Loving Dead

Posted 07 March 2010 | By | Categories: The Loving Dead, The Loving Dead Online Serial | 10 Comments

Please note that the following text has not yet been copyedited. Pardon any typsos. -AB

The Loving Dead
By Amelia Beamer

For Charles N. Brown,
whether or not he would have appreciated it.

I owe my gratitude for advice and support to Mars Jokela, Gary K. Wolfe, Tim Pratt, Liza Groen Trombi, AAron Buchanan, Francesca Myman, Jeremy Lassen, Cecelia Holland, Nalo Hopkinson, Joe Monti, Alan Beatts, Michelle Boussie, Zachary Smith, Joel Brandt, a number of Beamers and Jokelas, and the Second Draft writers group.

“Everyone was gray and speaking in monosyllabic tones. There was no class, no race… We’ve been beaten up. I mean, it’s so much easier to forgive a zombie.”
—Alaina Hoffman, in the Chicago Tribune, May 4, 2009

Chapter 1

The sun had set by the time Kate left the bellydance class. Jamie, the instructor, had stayed late showing Kate a move called “the sprinkler,” where you swing your hips in a smooth figure eight, then four sharp ticks back to center. It looked like a lawn sprinkler when Jamie did it. Kate, watching herself in the mirror, thought that her attempts looked more like a dog with a hose. But after a few minutes, after all of the other girls had left, she got it.

They walked out together from the converted warehouse. This part of Berkeley was mostly artist studios.

“See ya next week,” Jamie called. She turned, away from the streetlight.

“See ya,” Kate called. “Thanks again.” Despite her best intentions, she didn’t attend every week. She walked towards her car, pleasantly tired. The party Michael was throwing would be in full swing soon, but she would have a few minutes of quiet between now and then.

“Hey,” a woman’s voice called. It sounded like Jamie. Kate looked back. Some guy had pushed Jamie up against a van. His face was dangerously close to Jamie’s. She was pushing him away. “Fuck you,” she shouted. She kicked at him. “Hey, anyone, help?”


Archive for 'The Loving Dead'

Miss Belinda Blurb in the Act of Blurbing

Posted 07 March 2010 | By | Categories: The Loving Dead | 1 Comment

The term “blurb” came from humorist Gelett Burgess (author of “The Purple Cow”) at a trade show where he handed out his new book Are You A Bromide?, with a cover picture of a buxom woman praising the book to a degree intended to mock the testimonials on other publications. Photo of a buxom woman shouting praise

Praise has been around for much of history, of course, and blurbs are standard practice for marketing any creative work. I’m tickled to be receiving such blurbs as these:

“THE LOVING DEAD is really kind of hot, in a very creepy way. Read it. You know you’d love you some sweet zombie sumpin’ sumpin’. Buy it, bitches! Ride this zombie zeppelin of love like there’s no tomorrow.” — Christopher Moore, New York Times Bestselling author of LAMB and A DIRTY JOB

“Zombies are all over the place right now, but trust me, you’ve NEVER read a zombie novel like this! Amelia Beamer’s THE LOVING DEAD is about zombies, all right, but it’s zombies with Xanax, zeppelins, Trader Joe’s, iPhone apps, sex, humor, adventure, NPR, IKEA, and Indiana Jones! It’s a rollercoaster ride of a read and a true original!” — Connie Willis, New York Times Bestselling author of BLACKOUT.

“Amelia Beamer’s THE LOVING DEAD is strange, sick, sexy and scary. It’s also wickedly funny and a damn good read.” — Jonathan Maberry, New York Times bestseller and multiple Bram Stoker Award winning author of THE DRAGON FACTORY and PATIENT ZERO

“Promising young writer Amelia Beamer delivers plenty of requisite zombie gore and sex, but adds well-observed characters you get involved with, plus a kink ending that makes you glad she did.” — Cecelia Holland, critically acclaimed historical novelist and author of THE WITCHES’ KITCHEN and VARANGER

“If you like raunchy comedy with whips, brains, and zombies, this is the book for you.” — Mario Acevedo, author of WEREWOLF SMACKDOWN

“Dark Fantasy’s most audacious new talent answers the question on every reader’s mind: What happens when the Undead discover iPhone apps and Trader Joe’s?” — Terry Bisson, critically acclaimed author of THE PICKUP ARTIST

Link to a post on the blog “Sentence First” about Miss Belinda Blurb

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The Loving Dead Online Serial Coming Soon

Posted 03 March 2010 | By | Categories: The Loving Dead, The Loving Dead Online Serial | 2 Comments

Starting Monday, March 8, I’ll be serializing the complete text of The Loving Dead here on I’ll start off with the first four chapters, then will be releasing one chapter a week on Mondays thereafter, leading up to the publication of the novel in July from Night Shade Books. Subscribe to the RSS feed.

The Loving Dead is a zombie-comedy-romance that reads like the love-child of Chuck Palahniuk and Christopher Moore. It tells the story of Kate and Michael, twenty-something housemates working at the same Trader Joe’s supermarket, who are thoroughly screwed when people start turning into zombies at their house party in the Oakland hills. The zombie plague is a sexually transmitted disease, turning its victims into shambling, horny, voracious killers after an incubation period during which they become increasingly promiscuous. Thrust into extremes by the unfolding tragedy, Kate and Michael are forced to confront the decisions they’ve made, and their fears of commitment, while trying to stay alive. Kate tries to escape on a Zeppelin ride with her secret sugar daddy — but people keep turning into zombies, forcing her to fight for her life, never mind the avalanche of trouble that develops from a few too many innocent lies. Michael convinces Kate to meet him in the one place in the Bay Area that’s likely to be safe and secure from the zombie hordes: Alcatraz. But can they stay human long enough?

Named one of the “20 Books We Can’t Wait to Read in 2010” by science fiction blog io9, The Loving Dead will be published in July, but io9 doesn’t have to wait till then to read it, and neither do you!

For more information contact Night Shade Books publicist J.J Adams at or me at

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The Screaming Monkey approves

Posted 02 March 2010 | By | Categories: The Loving Dead | No Comments

Preliminary galley spotted in the wild! The Screaming Monkey couldn’t help but cuddle.

The screaming monkey approves a galley of The Loving Dead